we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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