Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
