the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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