I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
