Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
false alarm. still invincible.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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