Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
