IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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