hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
