Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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