Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
