If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
