in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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