This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Panties = found
Randomize
