It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
