I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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