SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
