mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
