coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
