remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i wish my penis had a tongue
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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