I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
