I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
