Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
