matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
