He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize