HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
