You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
