Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
