discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
