whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
