Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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