There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
