but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
my liver is dry heaving
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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