you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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