the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
