My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
