i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
