just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
