hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Soap is not a condiment
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
