shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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