He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
