her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
