Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
