You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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