I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
