dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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