OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
