His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
