I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
