Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it's like heaven, but drunker
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
