I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When did angry sex become our thing?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
