another moral hangover. fuck.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
