we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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